what to give and what to wear at a wedding

A Mylot friend expressed her anxiety for a friend's wedding in June because she said it is going to be her first formal invitation to a wedding celebration. In fact, I thought she sounded overly excited to the point of sounding panicky about it.

I would like to give some helpful suggestions to those of you who are attending any wedding ceremony. First you need to ask for the motif (color motif or whatever). Is it just the regular type of church wedding which ends at a resort or 5-star hotel for the reception? Or is it an underwater wedding or an island wedding? You don't want to go there in your sequined gown if the wedding is going to be held at the beach. So find out about these things.

If the wedding is just like any regular church wedding, then the only thing you need to know would be the color motif. It would be good to wear something that goes with the color motif of the occasion. You may have the color only as an accent or background of your dress. One thing you need to avoid when you attend a formal affair like this is this: never wear black.

A wedding is a happy occasion and should therefore show that it is such. Someone who comes in wearing something black could be criticized for her bad taste and ill humor.

After knowing the color, choose a formal dress, meaning a decent one but still fashionable. Since weddings start at the church, something decent is preferred. However, you might want to look sexy during the reception so you might want to try a dress that reveals the shoulders or a little of your back. The real definition of "formal" for women is "floor length" while for men would be coats, tuxedo, or "barong". A dress that is mid-calf in length is also appropriate.

Now what to give. This one depends on your budget. No, it is not tacky to give cash as gift but you have to place it in a decent red cash envelope and if possible, hand it personally just to make sure. This is going to be small so there's a big chance of it getting lost.

If you have decided against a cash gift, consider what newlyweds who are just starting a new life need. Kitchen utensils and kitchen wares, beddings, and other household needs. However, if the couple intends to travel or leave the country after the wedding, it will be impractical to give them something they could not bring. So in this case, a cash gift would be preferrable because they will need all the cash in order to get started with their new life together.

Is there any fixed amount or budget for wedding gifts? No, as I have said earlier, it all depends on your budget. By the way, a number of newlyweds lament the fact that sometimes nobody remembers to give them a beautiful wedding album to house all those captured happy moments. You might consider giving them one.

Just put yourself in their shoes. What do you want to receive for a gift when your time comes?

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gifts for kids

Finding the right gift to give to a kid can be a whole lot of problem. First, you need to ask yourself this question:

Are we giving a gift to the child or the mom?

Very often we buy a gift with the mom in mind. Will the mom appreciate my gift? And so we make the mistake of pleasing the mother but making the birthday child sad because she does not like the gift you bought for her. Remember, kids are very spontaneous and honest with their feelings. They will say what they want to say. If they do not like your gift, then expect them to say it in front of you. Yes, they will do that.

I had experienced this embarrassment with my own kids when a godmother of my child came to deliver her birthday gift to my daughter who was celebrating her 5th birthday. It's a good thing that this godmother was a classmate and a good friend of mine. If not, my embarrassment would have reached the heavens.

My daughter excitedly opened the gift and found a very beautiful dress. It was a party dress and I really liked the gift but my daughter did not. She uttered something which was very embarrassing. Upon seeing the dress, my 5-year-old kid said, "I don't like it" in front of the giver. I felt like melting.

See what I mean? Rule number 1: Know who you're giving the gift to. If it's a child, know her age and gender. Children seldom appreciate such gifts as a pair of socks, undies, dress, t-shirt---it's the duty of the parents to buy their children these personal items.

During my granddaughter's 4th birthday, a number of friends and relatives gave her clothes like blouses, dresses, pants---- but only one blouse fitted her---all the rest were two sizes too small for her. So don't and never make the mistake of buying clothes if only for that reason.

Children love toys. But make sure that you don't give toys that are not advisable for their age. Read the instructions written on boxes and containers of toys---they usually will tell you whether it is fit for children of a particular age.I would never suggest giving toy guns or toy knives to boys, no. Let us help make this world a more peaceful place to live in. Choose toys that have educational value. Again, consider the age of the kid. Do not give a scrabble to a 4-year-old.

Some children love books or coloring books but again you need to consider the age of the child. Do not buy a Harry Potter book to a 4-year-old. Children's books also have age levels so look for them and buy those that fit the birthday boy or girl..

Giving the right gift is an art. You need some creativity in order to come up with a gift that will create that magic sparkle in the kid's eyes.

party venues

For weddings, debuts, anniversaries, birthdays and other occasions, success starts in the choice of the right venue.

Do you want a garden setting? Or a celebratiion at the poolside? Or do you want an indoor or more formal atmosphere?

In choosing to celebrate at an outdoor setting, it is important to have options in case something comes up at the last minute, like a storm, which may make or unmake the party. You have to make sure that the date is typhoon-free if you want a garden or poolside celebration. The venue should have a hall or place to house the guests in case it rains.

Another thing. If you want torches to light your way at the reception choose the right time to hold the party because a torch will never be appreciated in broad daylight.

More party tips on my next entry.

to be wed in June?

For weddings that I hosted, I'd usually ask the couple to clue me as to what they would like to happen at the reception. They'd usually give specifications and preferences which I jot down, like in the flow of the program, they might want certain numbers to come ahead of some numbers or might want to add or skip some of the rituals. Make your program very flexible, allowing for last-minute changes like deletions or insertions.

A regular wedding in the Philippines would have the following items. I know that a lot of people are looking for this because right after each program I hosted a few would come to ask for the copy or script, if I would like to give it away. So here's a sort of a guide that a weding host or MC can follow. This happens at the reception.

I. Arrival of guests (newlyweds receive and welcome them at the entrance to the reception)

II. Entrance of bridal entourage. (when the guests are seated)

III Entrance of the couple who pass through the arc where a shower of blessings (confetti) are released before the start walking in)

IV. Release of doves.

V. (couple might decide at this time to hop from table to table for picture-taking or might want to have this in the middle of the banquet) Couple will proceed to their place at the presidential table. Host gives the introduction.

VI. Welcome speech by groom's or brides's parent(s).

VIII. Prayer before Meals.

IX. Banquet during which entertainment numbers like song and dance renditions can happen.

X. (middle of meal) Speech by one of the principal sponsors

XI. (towards dessert) cutting or slicing of the cake

XII. A bite of the cake---couple take turns feeding each other with a slice of the cake (emcee gives the symbolism while everything is done)

XIII. Toast (by best man)

XIV. Ceremonial drinking of the wine.

XV. Removal of garter.

XVI. bouquet toss

XVII. garter toss

XVIII. slipping of garter into leg of the lady who caught the garter

XIX. Wedding dance.

XX. Dance, dance, dance.

As I said earlier, make the program very flexible. You may want to add or change some of the numbers there. Make it fit the overall mood of the affair.

simple debut programme

I searched the web on this one but many times my search for "debut party" or "debut program" led me to porn sites I wondered why. What were they thinking?

Giving up, I have decided to share my own debut programme which I had tried as emcee in a number of debut parties. Of course, debut parties should be as different as the debutantes themselves. It all depends on what they want to happen. Do they want the party to be serious or formal? Then your programme and hosting style should also adapt to these requirements. If they want the party to be fun yet memorable, as host you also need to spice up your act with a few gimmicks. They might want the party to be wild or loud, so be it.

The host should coordinate with the debutante's family and ask them what they want. Anyway, the programme which I am going to give are only suggestions or tips which any host or emcee can use as guide. Feel free to add or remove numbers which you think are not so important. Let's start.

The success of the programme starts long before the arrival of the guests. The right atmosphere should be set. The place or venue must be perfectly set and soft classical music should be well chosen enough to give the guests the most pleasant welcome. Ushers and usherettes should help the family of the debutante to receive the guests. What is most appropriate is for the debutante herself to welcome and receive the visitors.

However, they have made some changes here because the family and organizers would want the debutante to be rid of this welcoming part and make herself "invisible" to everyone so she can have a most dramatic entrance when the time comes.

When everyone has settled, the most important people, the family as well as the relatives and godparents of the debutante will make their entrance. When they have settled, a number of options may follow:

Prayer

Cotillion

Entrance of debutante with escort

or

Prayer

Intro by host

Welcome by father of debutante

Cotillion

Entrance of debutante with escort

RElease of 18 balloons

Harana or love song to be sung by a gentleman

Meal/dinner

--- 18 Candles & wishes

---blowing of candles after birthday song by everybody

---slicing of cake

---18 treasures

--- 18 roses

Speech of gratitude by debutante

Dancing, dancing, dancing